barbie and the beast

hallo alle :)

well, i have been planning to tell you all about my excursion to münich, but, frankly, i have far too much to say for one post and thus have decided to make this the first of three.

today i'll talk about general impressions, next time i'll talk about the design and architecture, and finally the art. i can't tell you how much i managed to pack in to such a short trip...and how much i enjoyed all of it!

since the train is so damn expensive and flying is such a hassle, we decided to drive, which takes about 5 hours at 160 kph (which, to a born-and-bred toronto girl, seems fast until you get used to it and then it feels totally normal - slow even, what with all the cars passing at 200 kph+). if you've never been on the highways in germany, there is no speed limit. there is a "suggested speed" (usually around 130 kph) but apparently you can go as fast as you want and not get a ticket.

i actually LOVE roadtrips, and the scenery was stunning. the sky was just perfect, and seemed so very high above me and the horizon was endless. all of which i found very inspiring.




It's spring here right now - the greens are so concentrated, and the newness of everything is really quite palpable. I guess I'm used to being in Toronto this time of year, where it goes from mush and parkas to patios and bikinis seemingly overnight. there's lots of rain here, but that only makes it seem even more beautiful when the sun comes out.





after a while i got bored and decided to have some fun with the beautiful light and take pictures of myself (oh, come on - a little vanity never hurt anyone).



when we got to munich, the first thing i noticed were the amazing colours everywhere. i mean, in toronto you never see turquoise pickup trucks:



or check out this building, with a brilliant facade constructed out of thin multi-coloured batons:



i also really enjoyed this ad for the state opera:



my parents were actually in münich for a conference and i got to spend some time with them, which was supernice. my mom and i went for a lovely walk to check out the scene downtown, and admired some of the totally over-the-top architecture:





and stumbled upon a house where wagner lived for about a year:



in the evening, we went to a philip glass opera called "die schöne und das biest" (beauty and the beast) which was absolutely incredible. the production was modeled on jean cocteau's film, and i just can't express how moving it was. not only was the singing, music, and choreography thoroughly exquisite, but i also found the story itself so utterly tragic...











the other thing that i found quite incredible was the number of kids there - i was actually sitting in the middle of a group of 12 year old buddies who were just, you know, hangin out at the philip glass opera on a thursday night. they were awesome and seemed to enjoy my blue wig.

if you would like to check out some of the music or video from the production, you can do so by clicking here. i wish you all could have been there - it really was wonderful.

anyway, i'll be back soon for the next installment of 'barbie braucht bavaria'...

xo blue horizon barbie

barbie comes to dinner

***
i thought that today i'd write a brief post about some of my culinary adventures over the past couple weeks.

as you've probably heard, berlin is not exactly known for its superiour cuisine. they do, however, have the 3 (4? 5? 6?) am post-partying snack food pretty much down (thanks to the ubiquitous street-corner imbisses that serve a wide variety of multi-ethnic foods).

but in terms of your average meal, the quality of food for the price (esp. with the euro being as ridiculously expensive as it is at the moment) is often disappointing.

there are, of course exceptions - as i mentioned before, grill royal is VERY good (but also very expensive), as is alpenstück. oh, and near the funny farm there´s a place called pratergarten that has awesome salads and superlecker goulash....

and while these particular venues are admittedly upscale and high in foodie points (veal cheeks, anyone?) berlin barbie is not a total food snob, and by no means is suggesting that the only good food in berlin will bankrupt you.

for example:

the burger at white trash is both reasonably priced and really good. it's also served rare, which is nice for all us north americans who are sick of eating glorified hockey pucks. (the fuck you fries are an added bonus):



white trash also has great music, a warm and relaxed atmosphere, and fascinating decor (thanks to the superawesome laura of funny farm fame).

in fact, we went there with laura just the other night - this is her in another unbelievable outfit, with helen, a very cool artist currently practicing here in berlin - and despite it being a sunday, the place was packed until 3 am by the most diverse crowd i've ever seen.



this should give you a better idea of the vibe of the place (with live music):



anyway -

while i've enjoyed many different kinds of food here in berlin, as i'm sure you've heard, germany is first and foremost the land of pork:



now, you can get your schwein in a million forms, including several kinds of würst, weiner schnitzel so large that it covers the whole table (of course, schnitzel can also be made veal...) and schweinebraten (roasted pork). it's also added to a wide range of dishes for extra piggy flavour. and i've also found that it's common here to use pork fat in other dishes - especially vegetables (which means that if you are vegetarian, salad is probably the way to go).

i had a really fun dinner of roast wild boar the other night at this place, called schlesisch blau:



the best part about this meal was that there was no menu (the only choice you get is between veg and carni) and we all got to serve ourselves soup from a large bubbling pot on the side of the cozy, bustling dining room. of course, what made it so special were the ultracool people we dined with:



right now is the time of year for spargel, the plumpest, sweetest, juiciest white asparagus i have ever tasted. these are very commonly served with hollandaise sauce and a "side" of wiener schnitzel or ham. purists among us eat them with butter and perhaps a sprinkling of crumbled hard-boiled egg.

but no matter which way you slice it, this truly is a german delicacy, and a big hit with my parents who were visiting this week:



(and for all you etiquette enthusiasts, asparagus is the only veg that you're allowed to eat with your hands, which makes it taste even better. )

one thing i find disturbing about this city, frankly, is the number of sushi restaurants considering how few asian people i've seen around. having once been hospitalized after being poisoned by a sushi restaurant in toronto, i am very discerning about where i get my raw fish, and have not had the desire to eat any since i've been in berlin.

the other night, however, i attended a most wonderful sushi(!) dinner hosted by the lovely erica claus, the canadian cultural ambassador here in berlin. the dinner was in honour of david silcox, president of sotheby's canada who just won a governor general's award. the guests were fascinating, and the conversation was truly memorable...



plus, erica lives at what might be my favourite intersection thus far...



finally, i would like to mention a truly unique individual who i was fortunate enough to meet the last time she was visiting from amsterdam, where she lives. her name is marije vogelzang, and she is an eating designer. no - NOT a food designer. she said eating designer. she owns two restaurants (which you can check out here) and, being the ONLY eating designer in the world, she regularly teaches and lectures about her work, her philosophy, etc. - which is really quite fascinating.

if you're curious about what an eating designer does, exactly, check out this short vid of her talking about it - marije is a very articulate, sensitive and interesting speaker. definitely worth a listen:



okay, on that note i'm off - just got in from münchen and very tired.

i will be back soon with a post full of wide horizons and superiour design...

xo bohemian bratwürst barbie

barbie and the cadillac of card games

***
note: i have changed all the videos to higher quality so that hopefully you'll actually be able to see what's i'm talking about...

happily you have found me at my new home - and boy oh boy do i have a treat in store for you this evening...

since i have arrived here in berlin, you see, i have had the pleasure of visiting the funny farm each week for *games night* hosted by the oh-so-fantastisch laura and her supercool beau, gordon m. who make this event a veritable treasure trove of Schmackhaftigkeit*.

WEEK 1:

on my first games night, laura and i played a game of sprachenspiel**, a fun but non-competitive board game that teaches you how to speak german. and i actually did learn some very useful german vocabulary, such as:

schwarze johannisbeere: black currant (lit. black johnberry?)
allein: alone
dorf: village (try saying it - you'll never go back.)
er hat gelt: he has money
fester Freund: boyfriend (not the most romantic-sounding expression, but whatever...)

apparently "boyfriend" is actually pronounced boifrännd:



(seriously, though: the game is A LOT more fun than it sounds.)

later that evening, we played some excellent rounds of pictionary - highlights are here...



and



and my personal favourite:



but the highlight of the evening was the 3 a.m. game of charades which i was having way too much fun playing to have photographed properly. in the end i managed to catch a couple, including what must hold the record for fastest charade ever solved (and they swear they weren't cheating):



and this one which i call, "buddha rhymes with what, now?":



the second week was quite a different story....

WEEK 2:

now, it's a little known fact that laura and gordon host THE coolest underground bridge game in berlin (if not the whole of continental europe) in a psychedelic-tiki-zombie-meets-dandy-surrealist sort of way. and seeing as they say that bridge is the "cadillac" of card games (i think that's supposed to be a good thing?) i thought it would be fun to try.

as of late, the "regular" games night bridge players have been:

the dapper gordon m.

the larger-than-life gordon w.

the dandy and skillful an te

and the accomplished, no-nonsense ira.

you need four players for bridge, and the intimidating part (besides the bidding, counting and scoring) is that you have to play with a partner. who you don't want to piss off. in other words: to play bridge at funny farm is to contend with the "big boys" - which sounds like a job for...

berlin barbie!

so last week, it happened that ira was out of town and i was allowed to sit in and learn the ropes. i'm certain that the boys expected me to underperform (and who could blame them, considering the blonde hair and bubbly personality?) but in the end, berlin barbie did einen klasse job***.

in all fairness, everyone was very patient with me and were incredibly generous with their knowledge and advice. there was a great deal of illegal table talk (often accompanied by refrains of 'oh my god, if ira were here he'd kill us') but it helped me learn, and by the end of the evening i was feeling pretty good.

laura doesn't like to play bridge and mostly hangs out with her neverending stream of supertoll**** visitors (like charlie, below) and makes fun of us in a "bridge is for 'old people'" kind of way:



but she is a flawless hostess who - as usual - crafted the perfect atmosphere.

case in point:

the tablecloth, in case you forget the rules of bidding...



or of scoring...



and the bridge lampshade (a laura original):



frankly, the rules of bridge are insane but the terminology is SO AWESOME. on that note, i proudly present to you a series of concise, highly edutaining videos with excellent soundtracks that will provide invaluable bridge playing advice that you can use to impress all your friends:

1. how to bid classic stayman (both vulnerable with a game on):



2. yodeling the weak club convention:



3. doubletons, tripletons, and laura dancing up a storm:



isn't the music überrad? dj laura always supplies irritainment at its very BEST (btw, william shatner's cover album ROCKS.)

i will be back soon with more fun and frolic. until then, happy bidding :)

xo,

baby blackwood barbie



BARBIE GLOSSARY:

*Schmackhaftigkeit (ger. sl): nuttiness, deliciousness.

**Sprachenspiel (ger.): language game.

***Einen klasse job (ger. sl.): a damn fine job.

***Supertoll (ger. sl.): kick-ass-awesome.

barbie goes to the (funny) farm

***
achtung, baby: there is so much excitement in store for you here that i just hope you can stand it.

a brief note before we begin: the videos below, despite their momentous titles, are all under 40 seconds long. and definitely listen WITH sound.

and now, we can begin...

***

ONCE UPON last sunday evening, i had the wonderful honour of a *trip* to the funny farm, a.k.a. the absolutely incredible art/work/playhouse designed and choreographed by the brilliant artist laura kikauka, who is my new hero. seriously. next to her, i am a mere skipper.

when you first approach the funny farm (located in the middle of a square in east berlin that was actually a performance space in the communist days) it looks like this:

and the "farm" is actually that fabelhaft* building on the far left.

before we go inside, however, i'd like to point out 2 important landmarks:

1. the smoking hut:

laura designed it, and holy shit is it ever cool...

a close up of the BEST SIGN EVER...(and some days i really do relate to this):

and what an interior!

(cont.)

this was obviously one of my favourite elements:

and the second BEST SIGN EVER:



2. did i mention that laura also pimps bikes?

okay.

now as we approach the front door, you get a better sense of how awesome this place is. what a great balcony. kinda makes me want to stage a really demented version of romeo and juliet. on bicycles.

and now we approach the front door: when i first saw this i thought it said "please quiet when RAVING" and found that notion quite intriguing...?

and...

the front door: Funny Farm East.



and now, la piece de resistance...

the interior.

i hardly know where to start - but the videos will give you a better idea of what the place is like. everywhere you look is something awesome and groovy and unique. laura has collected and carefully orchestrated immaculate displays of everything a girl could ever want, need, or dream of...

such as this record player:




and if you want something to play on said record player, try the hit single:



all you philosophers will appreciate the "chance or logic" board game - (now if only we could figure out how to play):



when we arrived, laura was already hanging out with two lovely friends of hers, danielle and steven, whom she had run into at the flea market. danielle is a wünderbar artist and musician, and steven is an übertalented artist and graphic designer. he was a little hungover, but still very charming.

we all sat around the bar and had enlightening conversations about things like this:

"the skull that laura built"



yes, laura actually made that.

which put us on to our next topic:

les mouches (or, steven teaches us how to clean a skull)

btw, the picture of the singing foam noodle you see halfway through is laura. and now you know why she is my new hero.



and just so you understand how severely insanely amazing her decoration skills really are...

mirror mirror on laura's funny wall



so we had a couple beers and then laura, an te and i went upstairs and had a little wig party.

this is laura (incognito...don't give away the disguise or she'll kill me):



would you buy a used fish from this man?



and me...red light barbie.



a little later we were joined by alex (danielle's husband) from the epic band 'einstürzende neubauten', and by william morrison of skinny puppy, both of whom are way too cool for school (good thing, 'cause we were at the farm, after all).

alex and william both had iphones which they liked to play with. in case you have one which sometimes malfunctions, i believe laura discovered the ultimate reason why:

that damn static



we talked a lot about some VERY important, life changing matters. for example, did you know that there's a place in germany where they have a sport called chess-boxing? basically, you fight a round and then you play a round of chess. then fight, then chess. this sounds like fun to me...(as long as i don't have to be the one playing).

and just when i thought i was so total in for knowing about a place here that specializes in punk-rock karaoke (apparently they have every dead kennedy's song ever), alex totally showed me up by informing us about a place here where you can do karaoke porn. this does not involve actually acting out scenes from porn flicks (as i initially imagined...) but rather you sing along to porn. so there.

which brings us to our "german lesson" of the day. laura had a great little book that taught me some key phrases which i just know you will find superuseful, such as:



(leave me alone or i will call the police)

and my personal favourite:



(this man is bothering me)

so then it was about time to eat, so we went for some yummy food nearby. it was the first time i had ever seen breasts served as a side dish...



and we finally adjourned to laura's place, where william coined our official mantra of the evening:

"anyone can be skanky"

and i took one last little movie of the whole gang, which i call:

panorama die freunde:



and that, my friends, seems to be a good as a place as any to leave you for tonight.

i know this is one epic post, but i was just so incredibly inspired and incredulous and giddy to have found barbie's dreamiest traumhaus ever that i had to share it. and i even get to go back tomorrow for GAMES NIGHT.

klasse***.

stay tuned for my next installment, in which i plan to present footage of some of the most AWESOME breakdancing EVER.

...

xo,

midnight muesli barbie





BARBIE/GERMAN GLOSSARY

*ger. adj. (coll): fantabulous, scrumptious, topping (?)
**ger. adj. (coll): hip, in the know
***ger. adj. (coll): sweet!